Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
