You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I need to sanitize my soul.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize