I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Everything about him screamed your future.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
