dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We are all done wearing pants today
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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