We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
