worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
