now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
