he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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