Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize