Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize