Define "chronic" masturbator.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My dick has a subreddit
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
