i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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