so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
