Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
