We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
