Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
