I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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