Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
