dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
