Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
