Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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