Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize