i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
