I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
