I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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