thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
