There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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