can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize