I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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