I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
