So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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