all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
