They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
