Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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