yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
