Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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