I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
