ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
