the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
