I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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