FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
