I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
