is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize