but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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