She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize