maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
