Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
