wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize