its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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