You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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