was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
