He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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