My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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