I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
