now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
