I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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