Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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