Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
