how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
