Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
