I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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