Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
