Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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