he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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