be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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