whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
