I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
