so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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