Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he puts the penis in happiness.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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