Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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