she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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