careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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