Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
