I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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