She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i think im in europe. pls send help
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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