This is not my ceiling
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
time to smoke my breakfast
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
