i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
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