dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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