We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
